Of Men and Moons...

Amongst all my classes and studying of the day, I found I had a little time to write in my blog.  To be honest, it was the fact that it was raining which prompted me to begin thinking about the deeper things of life.  And what are deep thoughts worth if they are never vocalized.  At first, I wanted to write a long and impressively deep and witty blog about a profound topic of my choice.  

However, as I began to write I realized that I had not spent much time with my Creator today.  The one who is the whole reason why I exist, breath, and really live in freedom.  There is so much life found in simply conversing with Him and it shows in my mood when I fail to do so.  

Anyhow, I realize that by writing this much of a post, I am contradicting my statement that I should go spend time with Him before other things.  Nevertheless, I decided to write a short bit to convey what God put on my heart.  I had a realization of a way in which my thinking was a bit off.  Here it is:

I wanted to put up a blog because I wanted people to see me.  

Now this is a simple statement so I'll explicate.  Most bloggers, if you ask them, get a satisfaction out of people seeing the brilliance of their day to day thought or action which often goes unnoticed.  Now, I am not saying that this necessarily is bad.  It is good to be seen by others for who you are because they are not just seeing you but a God who is very much alive in you.  

Where the problem comes in is when you are writing or performing or doing anything along those lines in which you are being seen by others in order to be fulfilled.  

Only intimacy with God can do that.  

We were meant to tell God exactly what we think and feel for the restoration of our soul.  This is because only He can see all of who we are, flaws and all, and still be madly in love with us; and out of that love, speak words of life-giving affirmation and guidance.

You were made to be seen by God.  If you are seen by others let them see you like they see the moon; wonderful and beautiful and awesome, but only as it reflects the light of the sun (or Son).  

Tis all.

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."  Matthew 6:1 NIV

The Desires of my Heart

I noticed that when I am seeking to meet with God, I sometimes find it difficult to connect with Him, especially when I suppress the desires of my heart.  However, when I open up and tell GOd my desires and hopes and feelings and then submit them to Him, everything is out on the table and I don't have to worry.  Instead, I can move on to trust those desires to God and delight myself in Him.

Presence vs. Monotonous

I often feel like my job can drain me physically and sometimes spiritually depending on the work atmosphere.

Consequently, I often avoid thinking about work or even those individuals whom I work with when I'm not at work.

As a result of this attitude, I typically don't end up praying for those I work with out of the fear that bringing wok into my resting time with ruin my relaxation, and/or quiet time.

Am I really going to believe that my work atmosphere is more potent the atmosphere oh His presence??  Bringing work into my prayer life will not taint my time with God.

Quite the opposite.

God overwhelms my work place as I pray and makes it a place of joy and His Holy Spirit.

Rather than the monotonous of work being dragged into my peaceful times with God, the peace of God overwhelms the monotony of my workplace.

Galaxies and People

I was just thinking and pondering various things, talking to God about them.

Recently, I've been feeling like I need to slow down a bit. Doing so tonight has led me to notice things.

Earlier during my quiet time I was thinking about how He created the world.

Of course He created everything else, but just that he created the world from the largest aspects to the smallest.

I have often thought about how there are so many things in this universe that I will never understand or search out;

Neither in thought, imagination, or with my senses.

There are entire intricate galaxies that exist, so daringly large and beautiful, stretching for millions upon billions of miles.

Yet if you were to take one square centimeter of matter from those billions of miles, you could fine amazing detail of design in every atom.

And we take all this for granted.

A bit later, I was thinking about my brother Phillip.

I was just thanking God for him. And I realized that similarly, people in our lives are existing, yet unknown by anyone save for God.

I truly believe that human emotions are as complex as a galaxy.

I don't want to take for granted those He has put close to me in my life.

Just because there will be billions of people you could never even begin to get to know, it ought not to stop you from searching out the complexity of those around you.

It will take more thought to explain why, but I somehow I just know that taking time to get to know those around you will give you a better idea of who the Creator is.

Things to think on. To ponder on. I like that word...ponder.

Deep Waters

I feel much like a new, inexperienced sailor standing at the edge of the sea.

Never sailed before,

never seen such a wide open expanse,

but ready to brave the rough waters.

Longing to explore and be lost in it all.

To be sure, I am in a new season with the Lord.

Everything has shifted.

And with my transition into being a man, and preparing to be on my own with the Lord,

He has finally spoken of the word which wakes the sleeping, dormant part of my heart.

The word that, until now, I didn't realize how much my heart has been waiting for.

Destiny.

Trying to explain how I feel is as difficult as it would be for that young, ruddy sailor to describe what the ocean is like to one who has never seen it.

This calling; this first look into that vast expanse of God's destiny is such an important step into becoming a man. Or rather,

A man of God.



My thoughts begin to wander into my future and where I will be in the next few years,

much like an aspiring sailor would dream of himself far away on the daring waves.

The best way I can describe what this season of life is for me is like that of the sailor...

...finally stepping onto the boat, hearing the Creator calling, if not daring him to weather the endless waters.

After years of training and guidance from those on shore who have already sailed their own waters and sought their own adventures, it is now his turn.

To go after what he wants. What his heart desires.

The goal is not what is on the other side of the sea. For that is not in question. The sailor's final destination is set in stone, thanks be to the Son.

The goal is rather the adventure to be lived on the sea with his Maker.

To know his Maker...to truly and completely know and be known by Him.

In this world, let it be known that this sea is not without monsters to slay, storms to weather, and a beauty to be fought for on some island in the distance.

These things no longer frighten the young man. He is ready. He has heard the old sailor tell their stories, but he wants to live his own adventure.

And so the young sailor steps out onto the boat. Feels the smooth touch of the helm, and now turns to untie the last ropes keeping him tied to the old world.

Ropes untied. Steady as she goes. Chasing the horizon; chasing the Son you might say.

For all purposes of the heart, my very person, and my spirit;

I am that sailor.


Ready to shove off and experience adventure on my own. There is not a hint of rebellion in this. My Maker has called me into the vast expanse and I wouldn't keep Him waiting for the world.


You could say that this is my goodbye. However, I will be back with stories to tell.


"The spiritual life cannot be made suburban. It is always frontier, and we who live in it must accept and even rejoice that it remains untamed." -Howard Macey

"The heart of a man is like deep water..." Proverbs 20:5 NKJV

I Refuse

I refuse to believe that my God will ever demand that we serve Him before we are first free to rest in Him. I think sometimes we feel like God's promises and assurances given in the Bible are for everyone else, except ourselves. I'm sure most Christians have no problem telling others about God's unending grace and love for them, but how many of us have trouble believing that He is longing just as much to give us that love. When he said "My grace is sufficient for you", he was talking to you! And the weary and heavy laden can often be you and me; meaning that He was talking to you when He said that He would give you rest. Often, God calls us to serve Him in obedience, but I once heard someone say that God wants us to be LOVERS of Him before we are Workers of Him. Also that LOVERS always outwork WORKERS.

Earlier today I felt like God asked me to go and evangelize to people at a Starbucks near my house. This was challenging and stretching for my own personal bubble, but I know that it was right. The only problem was that after talking to a few people there, I immediately felt like I had to more. Like what I had already done wasn't enough. Or that I wasn't enough. All the while, God's heart was so proud of my obedience to Him, and would still be so proud even if I had given an excuse to avoid obedience.

God gives us commands and rules like any father would give his son. But how do you think that father would feel if his children followed the rules but forgot to love him. As a parent, it would break your heart if you had a child who was obedient but felt unworthy to receive your love. How much more will our heavenly father who is so much more loving than us feel towards His children who feel the same way.

Whether or not you feel it is true, God is so proud of you and longs to love you as you are.

My Father

Today is my father's 49th birthday. Now for some of you that may not be a very momentous occasion, but it is of extreme importance to me. I feel it weighing on my heart even now to explain to you who my dad has been to me and my siblings our entire lives. He means so much to me and this is not simply because he happens to hold the title "Dad" in my life.

Since I can remember my dad has always been there. EVERY time I needed to talk he was there to listen. And any time he couldn't he would make time for it later. He has been a constant source of wisdom and strength to me throughout my life. He has also never been afraid to say that he loves me or how proud he is of me. And just as important, my dad was always willing to come back and say "I'm sorry" when he was wrong. I love how firm he is in his beliefs. I love how his so-called "old-fashioned" views on being a man that I have tried to live out, separating me as a gentleman from many others. And I respect so much his willingness to work so hard for us without complaints.

When my dad was younger, before he was married, he used to read books and do studies on being a good father, all in anticipation of his being a father. I have 4 brothers and 1 sister, and I can tell you that we would ALL be much different people if it was not for my dad. Now of course it was God who guided us and changed us into who we are now, but I have no doubt that my dad was one of the greatest tools God used in building our foundations as children of God. I would guess that the main reason that I can connect with the Father-God of the trinity the best, and see God in that father's light is because I have grown up with a father who loved me as best he could. I also know that his fathering could not simply be contained within the wall of our home but overflowed in to the lives of many others. I have no doubt that some of you who are reading this have been poured into by his father-heart.
Now, I am not in any way saying that my father was perfect. My dad definitely has his share of flaws. But I want to recognize his obedience to God throughout his life and his always trying his best to love and care for myself and my family. So thank you dad. And thank you God for such a gift in my life.

Thanks ya'll