Deep Waters

I feel much like a new, inexperienced sailor standing at the edge of the sea.

Never sailed before,

never seen such a wide open expanse,

but ready to brave the rough waters.

Longing to explore and be lost in it all.

To be sure, I am in a new season with the Lord.

Everything has shifted.

And with my transition into being a man, and preparing to be on my own with the Lord,

He has finally spoken of the word which wakes the sleeping, dormant part of my heart.

The word that, until now, I didn't realize how much my heart has been waiting for.

Destiny.

Trying to explain how I feel is as difficult as it would be for that young, ruddy sailor to describe what the ocean is like to one who has never seen it.

This calling; this first look into that vast expanse of God's destiny is such an important step into becoming a man. Or rather,

A man of God.



My thoughts begin to wander into my future and where I will be in the next few years,

much like an aspiring sailor would dream of himself far away on the daring waves.

The best way I can describe what this season of life is for me is like that of the sailor...

...finally stepping onto the boat, hearing the Creator calling, if not daring him to weather the endless waters.

After years of training and guidance from those on shore who have already sailed their own waters and sought their own adventures, it is now his turn.

To go after what he wants. What his heart desires.

The goal is not what is on the other side of the sea. For that is not in question. The sailor's final destination is set in stone, thanks be to the Son.

The goal is rather the adventure to be lived on the sea with his Maker.

To know his Maker...to truly and completely know and be known by Him.

In this world, let it be known that this sea is not without monsters to slay, storms to weather, and a beauty to be fought for on some island in the distance.

These things no longer frighten the young man. He is ready. He has heard the old sailor tell their stories, but he wants to live his own adventure.

And so the young sailor steps out onto the boat. Feels the smooth touch of the helm, and now turns to untie the last ropes keeping him tied to the old world.

Ropes untied. Steady as she goes. Chasing the horizon; chasing the Son you might say.

For all purposes of the heart, my very person, and my spirit;

I am that sailor.


Ready to shove off and experience adventure on my own. There is not a hint of rebellion in this. My Maker has called me into the vast expanse and I wouldn't keep Him waiting for the world.


You could say that this is my goodbye. However, I will be back with stories to tell.


"The spiritual life cannot be made suburban. It is always frontier, and we who live in it must accept and even rejoice that it remains untamed." -Howard Macey

"The heart of a man is like deep water..." Proverbs 20:5 NKJV

I Refuse

I refuse to believe that my God will ever demand that we serve Him before we are first free to rest in Him. I think sometimes we feel like God's promises and assurances given in the Bible are for everyone else, except ourselves. I'm sure most Christians have no problem telling others about God's unending grace and love for them, but how many of us have trouble believing that He is longing just as much to give us that love. When he said "My grace is sufficient for you", he was talking to you! And the weary and heavy laden can often be you and me; meaning that He was talking to you when He said that He would give you rest. Often, God calls us to serve Him in obedience, but I once heard someone say that God wants us to be LOVERS of Him before we are Workers of Him. Also that LOVERS always outwork WORKERS.

Earlier today I felt like God asked me to go and evangelize to people at a Starbucks near my house. This was challenging and stretching for my own personal bubble, but I know that it was right. The only problem was that after talking to a few people there, I immediately felt like I had to more. Like what I had already done wasn't enough. Or that I wasn't enough. All the while, God's heart was so proud of my obedience to Him, and would still be so proud even if I had given an excuse to avoid obedience.

God gives us commands and rules like any father would give his son. But how do you think that father would feel if his children followed the rules but forgot to love him. As a parent, it would break your heart if you had a child who was obedient but felt unworthy to receive your love. How much more will our heavenly father who is so much more loving than us feel towards His children who feel the same way.

Whether or not you feel it is true, God is so proud of you and longs to love you as you are.

My Father

Today is my father's 49th birthday. Now for some of you that may not be a very momentous occasion, but it is of extreme importance to me. I feel it weighing on my heart even now to explain to you who my dad has been to me and my siblings our entire lives. He means so much to me and this is not simply because he happens to hold the title "Dad" in my life.

Since I can remember my dad has always been there. EVERY time I needed to talk he was there to listen. And any time he couldn't he would make time for it later. He has been a constant source of wisdom and strength to me throughout my life. He has also never been afraid to say that he loves me or how proud he is of me. And just as important, my dad was always willing to come back and say "I'm sorry" when he was wrong. I love how firm he is in his beliefs. I love how his so-called "old-fashioned" views on being a man that I have tried to live out, separating me as a gentleman from many others. And I respect so much his willingness to work so hard for us without complaints.

When my dad was younger, before he was married, he used to read books and do studies on being a good father, all in anticipation of his being a father. I have 4 brothers and 1 sister, and I can tell you that we would ALL be much different people if it was not for my dad. Now of course it was God who guided us and changed us into who we are now, but I have no doubt that my dad was one of the greatest tools God used in building our foundations as children of God. I would guess that the main reason that I can connect with the Father-God of the trinity the best, and see God in that father's light is because I have grown up with a father who loved me as best he could. I also know that his fathering could not simply be contained within the wall of our home but overflowed in to the lives of many others. I have no doubt that some of you who are reading this have been poured into by his father-heart.
Now, I am not in any way saying that my father was perfect. My dad definitely has his share of flaws. But I want to recognize his obedience to God throughout his life and his always trying his best to love and care for myself and my family. So thank you dad. And thank you God for such a gift in my life.

Thanks ya'll

Enjoying Life

Here is a list of things God is teaching me.

1)To Listen...

-This can be difficult for me.

2)To let my cares go...

-There are so many. He can handle them...

3)To Enjoy the little moments...

-The ones that quiet your heart and sooth you. Almost like God pours a cup of cool water on your weary heart.

4)To rest...

-I got to take today off and do nothing but enjoy the day with Him beside me.

5) To have faith in people...

-They are capable of so much with someone like God contending for them.





Lately, I have had the great sensation of one who is taking in the moments. I am beginning to appreciate my friends and family. Things will not always be the way they are now; people move and change. I know I will always miss these times with my brothers. All of us sitting around in our pajamas on a Saturday night just doing anything in each other's company. Tonight it was a western movie. Myself, afterwards listening to Kina Grannis' music and enjoying reading blogs such as Dreams Running and Malorie Grace. I have also noticed that certain TV shows like 'Everybody Loves Raymond' are funny to me not just because of the its contents but also because of the countless times we've sat around my parent's bed watching it, hearing the familiar, comforting laughs of my parents.
All this to say, that I know God gives us permission to enjoy things in life not necasarily relating to his kingdom, but rather relating to family and friends whome you love. I have no doubt that God smiles on our family movie times as well as our family prayer times.
Take time to enjoy whatever it is you are doing...God wants to be involved in all of it.